Monthly Archives: November 2011

It takes time

If there’s one thing my poor memory has taught me, it’s that so many events in your life are influenced by the passage of time. Generally I am constantly frustrated by the struggle to grasp at the vestiges of a memory I should have been able to maintain. Sometimes time seems to speed by far too quickly.

There are other times when you anxiously anticipate the passage of time, hoping the old adage “time heels all wounds” will indeed be the case. Often, we don’t give ourselves or each other the time needed to reexamine what has happened and with careful consideration determine our next steps. In a world moving in the blink of an eye the drive for dynamics to return to status quo has become something of an obsessive need. It feels better when everyone is generally happy and satisfied, even when it might be an affectation.

When so much of our lives is displayed as a “best of” reel to the tune of social media circuits like Facebook and Twitter, for someone to finally say, this isn’t ideal, it’s difficult to accept the world we’ve created may not be the world in which we are actually living. Like the white picket fence of earlier generations, it’s far easier to accept an image of a neat, manicured lawn and bright shutters than imagine what discord might be going on behind those shutters.

If some ugly problem does arise, it’s preferred a person quickly puts things back in their place, and move on. There are many instances in life when your pain, disappointment or anger requires your time and attention; often we forgo allowing ourselves the luxury of time. Time is truly a luxury today. Work hours extending beyond your time in the office, gym schedule, invitations both casual and formal from your circle of friends; taking time to simply just consider yourself and your life seems almost wrong with all these demands.

Without some serious commitment to selfish personal time, though, pulling through something harsh, perhaps devastating, becomes frankly impossible. Simply putting on a brave face and continuing on might work for a moment, but the pain or anger eventually catches up to your wild pace to outrun it. Ben and Jerry’s comes in a pint for a reason-


A 5-inch Recommendation: Kelly Walker Fine Art

The Three Wise Men keep watch over my entryway in my apartment. This glorious structure of a painting is the focus of my largest wall. At somewhere around 3ft by 4ft (I am not adept at dimension) this is my grand piece of original art. With an array of colors from magenta to emerald to gold, this was the painting that brought my entire vision of my living room into sync, anchored with lotus flowers at the bottom of the canvas.

Kelly Walker uses texture and color in her work in a way that is enthralling and serene. She is no wimp when it comes to incorporating all nature of material; her paintings feature metal leaf, plaster, car paint, lacquer, gesso and resin. Her work was recognized by the Baltimore Museum of Art in 2010 when she was awarded a People’s Choice prize in the Baker Artist Awards. Currently, her fine art is displayed in two permanent exhibitions at NV Salon Collective and the Ritz Carlton Residences. Her latest collections are also on rotation at Clementine in Baltimore, Well-Being Holistic Pharmacy in Hunt Valley and Starbucks in Timonium.

Each painting by Kelly Walker is unique and heartfelt. There is a warmth which emanates from even the darkest color pallets. Her work makes you want to reach out and be a part of it. A Walker in your home will not only be a great discussion piece, but you’ll enjoy moments of meditation each time the art catches your eye.

The answer is you

There are a lot of voices which swirl about a woman’s head while dating. A lot of questions and precious few answers. For one, we always concern ourselves with whether we are liked. Sensitivity to how others perceive and accept us is a natural habit for many women. Then, we think about how this person might fit in our lives. Is this someone you can share things with? Will your parents like him? Perhaps the last questions we begin to concern ourselves with finally ask whether we are happy.

Dating is a different experience at different ages. When you’re younger, so much is hyped by the romance of defining yourself. You almost try on boyfriends like dresses to decide which style fits you best. There’s no real fear of making a wrong decision, time still seems endless, suspended. As you come into your own and your years, dating gets serious. The stakes are higher, but now you should have a better idea of the man who will offer the perfect fit. Maybe.

Learning what kind of man is your perfect fit can be a heart-wrenching experience. It’s not like the time when dating was a game of duck-duck-goose. Looking for someone to share your life with is more like playing poker. It is hard to know just how strong your hand is until you can see the other players’. So many questions come into your mind. Does he like me? Why does he like me? What is his family like? Will they like me? Will my parents like him, will my friends like him? Will his friends like me? What will they say about me? What does he want in life? Can I give it to him… do I want to? Is this the person for me? Can I see myself with him next week, next month… next year?

Too often, we find ourselves making the wrong decisions for all the right reasons. Perhaps you cling to seeing potential in someone that’s just not there yet. Or, this is someone you’ve been dating for years, he’s seen you grow, you appreciate the fact he knew you when… The worst yet, he’s wonderful, absolutely wonderful, and you feel clinically insane not to want him. You think about the potential for him to fit in your life, and you work with it; whether it is falling short, growing apart or chasing that spark- It is hard not to, when you hear time ticking away. You want to give him the encouragement he needs, understand his point of view or see things from a new angle. No matter how much you try and hope in these situations, though, you are sure to come up short.

Every question shouldn’t be about what more you can do for a relationship; sometimes you have to ask, what is the relationship doing for you? If this is one of those answers that isn’t forthcoming, or that stutters its way out, it’s time to step back and take a look at what you’re signing yourself up for. It’s no easy task to commit to this sort of introspection- asking, what is this doing for me? It’s harder when you do have a great guy vying for your affection, but it’s not in you to give it.

These are the simple, yet hard truths to face if you are to find real happiness with someone else. Being honest with yourself and who you are might be hard at times; confusing, emotional- but it is the best way to be happy. It all begins with one person. Before you have a couple, you have to have one, and taking care of the one, yourself, is the beginning of a great relationship.

A 5-inch Recommendation: Tatu on Water St

Bringing classy back to Power Plant is no small feat but Cordish has figured it out with the latest venture, Tatu, the upscale Japanese infusion restaurant which transitions to a stylish night club. Rehabilitation and repurposing is the signature of the Cordish Companies, so it’s no surprise the spaces in Power Plant are transformed so easily. Yet transformation does not always lead to perfection in quite the way Tatu has turned out.

The interior is posh without being pretentious. A harmonious blend of minimalism, rich color and material with delightful Asian inspired accents; Tatu has a playful attitude, much like its fantastic cocktail menu that’s not only fun to read, but drinks almost too easily. The food is delicious and not just for sushi snobs. Any pallet will find something to delight in. Of course, the way to go is certainly the daily specials.

The manager, Gus, will drop by your table or the bar to check in on your experience. But the servers have already done such a superb job of taking care of you that his appearance is just icing on the cake. Tatu is run with an air of family and fun that encourages you to absolutely lose yourself in this exhilarating atmosphere. On top of it all, Gina Geppi works with the whole team to plan events and parties, as well as special happy hours. Be sure to follow her on Facebook to win one of her contests for a discount happy hour.