If there’s one thing my poor memory has taught me, it’s that so many events in your life are influenced by the passage of time. Generally I am constantly frustrated by the struggle to grasp at the vestiges of a memory I should have been able to maintain. Sometimes time seems to speed by far too quickly.

There are other times when you anxiously anticipate the passage of time, hoping the old adage “time heels all wounds” will indeed be the case. Often, we don’t give ourselves or each other the time needed to reexamine what has happened and with careful consideration determine our next steps. In a world moving in the blink of an eye the drive for dynamics to return to status quo has become something of an obsessive need. It feels better when everyone is generally happy and satisfied, even when it might be an affectation.

When so much of our lives is displayed as a “best of” reel to the tune of social media circuits like Facebook and Twitter, for someone to finally say, this isn’t ideal, it’s difficult to accept the world we’ve created may not be the world in which we are actually living. Like the white picket fence of earlier generations, it’s far easier to accept an image of a neat, manicured lawn and bright shutters than imagine what discord might be going on behind those shutters.

If some ugly problem does arise, it’s preferred a person quickly puts things back in their place, and move on. There are many instances in life when your pain, disappointment or anger requires your time and attention; often we forgo allowing ourselves the luxury of time. Time is truly a luxury today. Work hours extending beyond your time in the office, gym schedule, invitations both casual and formal from your circle of friends; taking time to simply just consider yourself and your life seems almost wrong with all these demands.

Without some serious commitment to selfish personal time, though, pulling through something harsh, perhaps devastating, becomes frankly impossible. Simply putting on a brave face and continuing on might work for a moment, but the pain or anger eventually catches up to your wild pace to outrun it. Ben and Jerry’s comes in a pint for a reason-