along with workingwohl.com; growing my design and development business, i hope to also revive this perpetually neglected blog. at least you will have a Black History piece to read monthly. i will be reposting the article i write for the JHU Black Faculty and Staff Association monthly newsletter. i hope to add to that op eds and personal musings.

Perhaps the most infuriating question a woman -of a certain age- can field is “How are you still single?” As if you have somehow accidentally forgotten to find a husband, perhaps he is stuck in your sofa cushions, along with 62 cents in change.

I can guarantee you getting married isn’t an item on my To Do list that just slipped my mind. How could it? I am constantly reminded that I am not married. “But you’re so pretty and smart!” “You’re just so charming.” “How can you NOT have a boyfriend?” It’s almost an accusation once you cross that 30 year threshold.

If I can’t hear my biological clock ticking, everyone else can. Clearly. If a woman hasn’t lived up to having it all by 30, is she less than? Am I losing the race, one day at a time? If I listened to all those questions, Why not? Why not? Why not? I would begin to believe I am.

But what if all us 30-somethings decide to change up the rules, and run our own race? What if we redefine having it all, and having it all becomes simply being happy with the lives we have, the lives which are uniquely ours; married or single, kids or no kids, career queens or homemaking hotties.

Still single at 30-something means having it all in a whole new way. It means refusing to settle for anything less than what you’ve spent your life dreaming about. It means daring to wait for Prince Charming without regret or apology and proudly confirming, “Hell yeah, I’m still single, know any cute guys??”