Life online: Date like a dude

I guess the thing I like the most about online dating is the encouragement of the medium to date like a man. The short profile you create, the personality questions you answer, your own search criteria; they all build a match system based truly on what you are looking for, if you are honest, of course.

If you are honest in your summation of your personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and if you answer all those little personality questions with how you truly feel or behave and not how you like to perceive yourself as being, then you come up with an online profile that probably closely resembles in fact who you are and what you are looking for. There are some decent algorithms out there that will point you to the people you are most likely to find commonalities with. After so many years of people going online to date, some of these websites have developed pretty awesome match making formulas.

Once you have stated what you want, and you start getting some responses; and this part is truly interesting, for all the back lash to feminism in the face to face dating world, online dating still seems to adhere to the custom of the guy making the first move; it’s up to you to make your first move. It does not take long after a woman’s profile is created for potential interests to start messaging her. So now it is up to the gal to decide whom she will follow up on; a great lead in to thinking like a man.

At this point, you can immediately begin to assess your online Cassanova; first by his handle, or screenname. Sure, there might be an endless supply of Jason- followed by a mix of numbers, but does that really mean you have to go with mrlove69? It’s easy enough to delete that introductory message based etirely on handle alone, let alone the pathetic and clearly mindless messages about your great body, legs, mouth, whatever brutish suggestion passes as a compliment for some mouthbreathers today. It’s not like being at a bar and being challenged with the options of wasting time to politely show some creeper you’re not interested, or risk the more direct brush off and possible ensuing violent reaction from this stranger who just told you he likes the way you smell. Online, a woman is safely separated from a potential beau, and she can easily walk away from an advance she finds lacking.

Online you also have several more ways, after the handle and opening message, of determining if you want to continue to entertain this potential Romeo. You can peruse his profile. Clearly, someone who writes more than a few paragraphs in his “about you” section is already too busy staring longingly into a mirror on Satuday night to take you on a date. Whereas the smartass who neglects to write more than “message me, and you’ll find out” is clearly only interested in finding out how your clothes look on the floor next to his bed. You have the fun little personality match scores, or whatever your chosen site names the algorithm it uses, to direct you to potential good matches, and persuade you away from the not so good ones. You can search for guys that fit your profession, education, earning potential, heigh and weight preferences all from the unjudging glow of your laptop. The dating search engine isn’t going to make you feel badly because you don’t want to date the overweight schlub, or the uneducated Ken doll. It doesn’t care, it’s not keeping track for some dating deepness litmus test. All the website is asking for is your next mouse click, providing the next screen of all important advertising.

This choosiness is the way men date. Men do not work on the character flaws of the women they date because they see potential elsewhere. They determine quickly whether they can live with whatever flaws they encounter because what she brings to the table is better still. They quickly sum up whether or not they are dating a woman that will make them happy for the next couple weeks, at least, or whether she is just not going to cut it. This isn’t cold or unfair, it’s just plain common sense. You’re either going to get along, or you’re not, and there’s no reason wasting time if you’re not.

So, go ahead, sign up with an online dating site, and start looking for the things you truly want out of a partner. The experience of being recklessly choosy online will also make you a better dater offline. Granted, there is still no way to tell if the dude sniffing your hair is going to go nuts on you if you tell him to back off, but at least you’ll be a little more discerning when you go on a date with Bob Smoot next week.


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