“Vintage blog” Dear government, marriage would like a divorce.

It seems recently the US has become less accepting of different styles of relationships just as homosexual couples gain ground on the right to marriage. Indeed, one major scare tactic used against gay marriage is the threat it will pave the way to polygamy. Maybe people could accept two of the same gender in a relationship; but 3 people, of whatever gender combination? No way. Why is it that puritanical concepts of what constitutes a “proper” relationship still pervades our society in such an encompassing way?

While we are so keenly obsessed with talking about sex and depicting sex in the media- to varying, “properly rated” degrees- when it comes to living sex, we refuse to live and let live. Consent is sadly not the focal issue. The imposed morality judgment of what and who you do is not only a societal pressure in the US, but enforced by law. (In many states, by law a man “cannot” rape his wife- interesting.) Whose judgment are we living our lives by?

Monogamy. How is a “monogamous” relationship in which one partner consistently cheats superior to an open relationship? Rather than setting an unrealistic expectation that will not be met, shouldn’t two people be honest about what they expect from a relationship, or life in general? Why stop at two people, while we’re at it? Would it be so terrible to construct an adult relationship with more than two consenting adults? As long as those involved in a polygamous relationship are healthy, consenting, adults (not under any duress or underage), why should anyone outside the relationship object? How does this relationship negatively affect anyone on the outside? To be honest, with the mounting costs of raising kids, could it perhaps be beneficial to have several parents providing for a family instead of just two? Done in a fiscally directed manner, perhaps with brother-husbands rather than sister-wives, a family could create a fiscal power-house, providing the kids a great advantage.

The point is that there are as many healthy combinations of partners as the human mind can think of. As long as those involved are healthy, consenting adults, why should it be up to the government, a religion or anyone else to dictate how two or 10 people should live together.

The puritans have had their go in the US for centuries, resulting in a divorce rate climbing to 50%. You are almost more likely to end up divorced today than not. The system is obviously flawed. Perhaps it is time to develop marriage 2.0; allow the individual to determine what is healthy for him/herself instead of a list of rules created by a church most people do not follow, enforced by a government which is supposed to serve the people. I would challenge those conservatives who continually yell for small government to put their money where their BIG mouths are and not just write and pass laws allowing for gay marriage, but the union of any number of consenting adults. If there is one place the government doesn’t belong, it is in our relationships.

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