Speak their language

In the February edition of Glamour, the editor’s husband took over the “Dos and Don’ts” column. Within it, he compared the “Dos” of each sex, and ruminated on the importance and inherent beauty of the naturally different interpretations. Perhaps with less pomp than what you might read here.

Even while men may not revel in the hottest designer of the moment, or pay much attention to the latest trends, they can certainly still appreciate how a woman puts herself together. He might prefer a simple T and jeans for himself, and maybe on you sometimes, but that doesn’t mean he’s devaluing your efforts. He might tell you you look great no matter what you wear, but don’t misinterpret that to mean he doesn’t care. At least, not necessarily.

Regardless the training we put them through, sometimes men will always seem to speak a different infuriating language. Even while women are socialized to seek external validation, men are not socialized to be the effervescent providers of that validation; lending to the multitude of exhausting conversations a couple could go through just in seeking to understand each other. While we’re simply examining this communication impasse from a fashion standpoint, anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows the trials of miscommunication can be found in a plethora of areas.

The hilarious part of it all; the answer to this common plight, is sincerely as simple as the husband’s short list of “Dos”~ an honest acknowledgment we each have our own “thing.” The trick is to accept and maybe admire how our counterparts do things differently than we might, and begin to applaud them for it, when it looks damn good!

To do this, we do need to learn a bit of that foreign language those other people are speaking in. For a man, it’s noticing when your partner has dressed up for a date or a night out. Yes, this means paying attention to little things, like her dress and shoes, maybe, if I may be so bold, her lipstick. For a woman, it could be planning a night where your guy can do what he does best, whatever that might be- but it probably doesn’t involve those dreadful things called slacks! It’s also learning on both sides that there are many ways to communicate love and appreciation, and finding the languages that work best for you.

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